The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 17. Family

When Bella first fell asleep, she was quiet. I held her in my arms and kept my face close to her neck. I continued to breathe deeply while I hummed her lullaby very quietly in her ear. Even in her sleep, she trembled at my touch. This moment is what I had always wished for when I was the peeping tom, and now, after everything I've done; spying on her, being rude to her, ignoring her, she invites me in and still wants to be with me. The thought sent pleasure through me. A feeling I couldn't get used to, yet I craved it more. While I was laying there with an angel in my arms I was thinking about the past day's events. I couldn't think of my life before her, because that was no life at all. I was so joyous, euphoric. Every time I felt her warmth, hear her pulse speed up, watch her face flush I fell deeper and deeper into love. After fifteen minutes of silence, Bella began to mumble. I couldn't understand what she was saying for the most part. She shivered then, and I realized that I was probably making her cold. Though it pained me to do it, I removed her from my arms and pulled the blanket around her firmly. Bella turned over when I let go of her, and I thought she woke up when she mumbled, â€Å"I love you, Edward.† She sighed then, and smiled. Bursts of pleasure and exultation flowed swiftly through my body at the thought of her love for me. I was rejoicing, my skin literally singing. The onslaught of euphoric feelings was almost overwhelming. A light snore followed and then she turned again, moving her left hand around like she was looking for something†¦this distracted me. I didn't know what she could possibly be feeling for. An idea sparked in my head then. I grabbed another blanket and wrapped it securely around her. She mumbled, sighed, and said my name. Her hand never stopped searching. I finally laid down next to her, holding her while she was bundled in her quilt and another blanket. Like her hand found what it was looking for, she grabbed my neck and pulled her face into the hollow below my ear. She breathed deep heavy breaths onto my neck. The warmth made me tremble. I pulled her in closer to me. The sensations of her breath were almost maddening. She reached up with her right hand and then it limply fell onto my chest. I held her even closer then. She was quiet. After several immeasurable moments, she turned over and sighed. Her hand came around her back and pulled me close again. I gently caressed her face. Even in her sleep she flushed red. I wonder what she is dreaming about. She sighed my name once more, lightly snored again and didn't move for over an hour. It was becoming late in the evening and Charlie decided he was going to bed. Before he went to bed though, he went outside, opened the hood of Bella's truck, felt to see if it was warm†¦just in case she had snuck out and back without his knowledge, and then swiftly unplugged the battery cables. Did he seriously think that is all it would take to stop Bella from leaving? Charlie went to bed then, and he was snoring in a matter of minutes. Bella moved once more, bringing her head to my chest, over my still heart. I moved the hair from her face and watched as she slept peacefully. I caressed her face, her hair, her lips over and over again. Every time I pressed my fingers to her skin I was stung by the electricity. It was an astonishing feeling. When I could see the sky turning a deep dark blue, I left to take a shower and change my clothes. Removing my arms from Bella was torture. But I had to. I jumped out of Bella's window and raced to my house. It isn't home without Bella, she was my home now. Alice, oh Alice†¦she was waiting for me, just like always, at the bottom of the stairs outside. â€Å"Thanks,† I mumbled under my breath, I was still grateful for her presence this evening. â€Å"So, Jasper lost the bet ?C he should know better than to bet against me.† Alice laughed. We heard Emmett's chuckling from inside the house, immediately after we heard a loud thud and a, â€Å"I'll get you for that!† Shortly after we heard Esme, â€Å"Boy's, cut it out!† followed by â€Å"I'm Sorry,† from Jasper and Emmett both. Alice and I just grinned widely at each other. â€Å"So, are the boys ready to meet Bella?† I asked Alice. Her face went blank as I watched her go through her most recent visions. She was seeing Jasper staying far from Bella, Emmett enjoying Bella's presence immensely until Rosalie show's up and Bella and I laughing exuberantly. â€Å"Thanks again,† I said. I heard a chuckle from inside the house again, â€Å"Hey Edward, is meeting Bella going to be as fun as messing with that kid in Spanish class?† Emmett mused. I heard a light slap from inside the house, â€Å"Emmett, you will be good to Bella, she is going to be a part of this family!† Esme reprimanded him. â€Å"Alice, can I ask you a question?† I wondered. Oh, of course you would be wondering about that. I am surprised it took you this long to notice, Alice thought. â€Å"Please, Alice,† I pleaded, â€Å"Show me the vision again.† Bella and Alice were in a room together, Bella's room, I noticed. Alice was taking measurements of her body and Bella was blushing scarlet with a frown prominent on her face. Immediately I noticed the ring on her left hand. â€Å"Stop,† I begged. What is it Edward, I don't understand, Alice asked, concerned. â€Å"This isn't the same vision, is this newer?† I asked Alice tried to hide her thoughts. It was a new vision, but I was noticing how she was getting measured for a wedding gown and how her face was still flushing a deep red, which meant that she was human. How was that possible? Was it when Bella asked me about marriage? I must admit, the thought did run through my mind, but for only a fraction of a second. Did we both want it at the same time? It seemed a dream come true ?C but how could this be possible. I was completely miffed! How could I let myself get so deeply into this? Because you love her, you idiot, I yelled internally. She was my life now, and there was no taking it back. I could not leave her, and I knew she felt the same way. I frowned at Alice. It wasn't her fault, but she was the one who was showing me what I could possibly be doing to Bella. I was coveting her. I went inside the house. Carlisle was talking with Jasper intently about a new medical study going on at the hospital. When I walked in the room, they stopped immediately. Jasper could feel the mix of emotions coming off of me. What is going on with you Edward? I have never felt so many emotions radiating off one person, love, self hatred, anger, happiness†¦ there are so many feelings, get a grip, Edward! Jasper scolded. â€Å"I'm sorry,† I muttered to Jasper. I put my feelings in check then, deciding to focus on today's events. â€Å"Carlisle, I am going to invite Bella over to meet the family, is that okay?† I asked Absolutely, that would be delightful, Carlisle thought. Esme came into the room then, interested in our conversation. I had not talked that much about Bella in the past, but they all knew how my mood has changed since I met her. She has altered me in ways I didn't know were possible. â€Å"You know my thoughts on that Edward. I've wanted to meet her for some time now. She is your partner, which means she is family. I am ready to meet my new daughter,† Esme beamed. â€Å"Thank you,† I said to both of them with a grin on my face. â€Å"No need to thank us Edward, we want to thank Bella!† Carlisle exclaimed. â€Å"No doubt,† I mumbled, distracted now. My family could tell I was distracted, and they scattered, while their mental humming starting thinking about the days events, which would include a human. I went to my bedroom and quickly showered and changed. I was in a hurry and I was finished in just two minutes. I was out the door in the next second. Can't wait to see Bella, Alice thought as I flew by. I was back at Bella's before Charlie left. Charlie was humming under his breath while gathering his fishing supplies. He checked on Bella, went downstairs, and pulled something out of the fridge. I was standing in the shade of the trees. My arms were feeling cold, something they have never felt before, but I knew it was because Bella's warmth was absent and I was becoming impatient with Charlie's human slowness. He finally exited the house and I was already in Bella's room. When I jumped in the window, wind blew inward and then back out the window throwing Bella's scent into my face, instantly assaulting my throat. Hot flames burst down my throat licking at my aching wounds from my already dry thirsty throat. I whirled around to look at Bella. She was sleeping soundly, her hair all around her, where it had dried in the shape of her pillow. A little laugh escaped my lips and the monster was instantly caged, even though the dull ache in my throat continued to burn. Charlie reconnected Bella's battery cables and left to meet Harry Clearwater at the lake in that moment. I was busy watching over Bella, though. I didn't have time to deal with anyone else's thoughts. My arms were still feeling cold from Bella's absence, but my heart had warmed since I reentered her bedroom. I continually breathed in several large generous gulps of air, letting her scent burn my throat, sending painful pleasure through my body. I sat in the rocking chair, afraid pulling her into my arms would wake her now. An hour passed, and she still hadn't moved. I would have thought her dead if it weren't for her regular pulse and light snoring. Suddenly Bella moaned, putting her arm over her face and then she rolled over. She was still for a moment. Her heart started pounding, and her pulse began racing. I was worried but then, instantly, she was sitting up, â€Å"Oh!† she breathed. She met my gaze and I smiled, â€Å"Your hair looks like a haystack†¦but I like it,† I teased. Her hair was splayed across her face†¦she was adorable. In a fluid movement, by her standards, she was out of the bed and into my arms, clutching herself to me, â€Å"Edward! You stayed!† she exulted. My arms instantly engulfed her and brought her to my chest. She became stone under my arms and her gaze met mine, worry in her expression. She must be worried she went too far but when she threw herself into my arms, I was instantly satisfied, my arms simultaneously warming. I laughed, joyous, â€Å"Of course,† I told her. My hands were at her back and began moving up and down gently, caressing her. She shivered in pleasure. I breathed in her delicious scent. Her head met my shoulder, and I brought my arms around her again, securing her to my chest. â€Å"I was sure it was a dream,† she mused. â€Å"You're not that creative,† I teased. â€Å"Charlie,† she exclaimed, leaving my arms quickly to go to the door. My arms stung without her presence, like they were turning to ice. â€Å"He left an hour ago ?C after reattaching your battery cables, I might add. I have to admit I was disappointed. Is that really all it would take to stop you, if you were determined to go?† I asked, curious. She stood in the middle of her room, with a confused expression on her face, unresponsive to my question, â€Å"You're not usually this confused in the morning,† I noted. My arms were still stinging unbearably now. I held my arms out, welcoming her back into my embrace. She stared at me, wavered, and then spoke, â€Å"I need another human minute,† she explained. â€Å"I'll wait.† Bella literally skipped to the bathroom. I had never seen her do that, and it sent a new sensation spiraling down my spine. I still didn't know Bella, there were so many things I didn't understand and I wanted to know everything about it. Her expressions, her thoughts and feelings. I gritted my teeth, and tightened my eyes shut trying to read her thoughts once more. Nothing, not even a hum, murmur, or buzz. Absolutely†¦frustrating, there was no other word for it. I heard the water running in the bathroom again and I was extremely happy that she wasn't taking another warm shower. The memory of the scent left painful scorch marks in my throat. I heard the water turn off. She ran back into the room and I immediately held out my arms, pleading obvious on my face. For her to be in my arms was a necessity at this moment. I couldn't remain in this chair for long if she wasn't locked in my arms. â€Å"Welcome back,† I murmured. Her heart began beating rapidly and she embraced me back. I held her to my chest, rocking her lightly back and forth while lightly tracing her bodies every line. A rush of sensations was rippling through my body, at each electric jolt; jubilance, happiness, triumph†¦the uplifting joy I was feeling was indescribable. Bella grabbed the collar of my shirt, â€Å"You left?† she accused. I felt so light-hearted at this moment, â€Å"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in ?C what would the neighbors think?† I teased, not like the neighbors would see me. Her bottom lip was suddenly protruding from her face. My new desires and the passion I was always feeling for her flared up and I wanted to bring my mouth to hers to nibble on her lower lip. No mistakes, I told myself. If I were to slip, I might break the skin. I decided to distract myself, â€Å"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything,† I stared at her, â€Å"The talking came earlier.† She groaned loudly and I automatically brought my arms around her to comfort her. â€Å"What did you hear?† she moaned. â€Å"You said you loved me.† I explained with adoration in my joyous expression. â€Å"You knew that already,† she noted, bringing her head to my chest again. Her warmth was insatiable and I brought her scent into my lungs again and again, relishing in the burning desires. â€Å"It was nice to hear, just the same,† I explained. She didn't even hesitate, â€Å"I love you,† she whispered softly. My heart, unbeating, felt like it grew to ten times its normal size, a walking stereo type for the Grinch. I wrapped my arms around her in this moment, holding her closely while inhaling the delicate scent that I would on no account be able to acquire enough of. I was holding Bella in my arms as she was confessing her love to me. I had to affirm my affections for her, and love wasn't an effective enough declaration, â€Å"You are my life now.† I replied with an understated fervor. Not one word escaped her mouth, but she drew me closer to her warm body. Her reaction was all the confirmation I needed. She understood. It would be foolish for me to deny myself the warmth of this soul. After several moments of pure bliss, I recalled her human weakness, â€Å"Breakfast time,† I said, letting her know that I didn't forget all her human frailties. She glanced at me and in an abrupt action she grasped her neck with both hands. Her eyes widened in terror. I was instantly distressed, terrified that she thought I was going to drink from her. She comprehended my reaction. It must be apparent on my face. â€Å"Kidding!† she giggled, â€Å"And you said I couldn't act!† she pointed out. I felt a moment of unease. Unbelievable! How could she possibly think of her life as a joke? Did she think so little of me, too? I was offended and a little out-raged, â€Å"That wasn't funny.† I stated with vexation clear on my face. â€Å"It was very funny, and you know it,† she responded, laugh lines still present on her cheeks. Nothing could smoother her uplifted mood or mine. She continued to examine my face. The anger I was feeling fled from my body as quickly as it came, â€Å"Shall I rephrase?† I inspected her face, â€Å"Breakfast time for the human.† â€Å"Oh, okay,† she answered with a smirk. I felt suddenly playful. I grabbed her up, and in the gentlest of ways, tossed her over my shoulder. She caught her breath and her pulse raced. The warmth emitted from her like the sun. Her scent was assaulting my nose, and entering my lungs in waves. I reveled in it because I knew the cold would return as soon as I placed her back on her feet. I disappeared down the stairs and in a seconds time I was in the kitchen. With my new discipline of my easy touch coming more naturally, I placed Bella carefully on a chair. â€Å"What's for breakfast?† she asked with smile lines still prominent on her face. Crap, I groaned internally. I remembered that she needed food, but I didn't think to learn to make food. I still hadn't found out all her little secrets like all the things she liked and disliked, including foods. â€Å"Er, I'm not sure,† I answered honestly, â€Å"What would you like?† I was hoping she wouldn't ask for anything difficult. A pop tart maybe? Disgusting! I could see my reflection in her bright brown eyes and I watched as my brow furrowed at the complexity that was food. I was stumped on what to do. She could read the apprehension on my face. She grinned her magnificent smile, bounded toward the cabinets and began searching. â€Å"That's all right,† she giggled, â€Å"I fend for myself pretty well. Watch me hunt.† My gaze followed her every move. I saw how she bounced on each of her steps. How every time she found something distasteful she would slightly shake her head, and when she was considering her options she would purse her lips. When she found something to her liking, she pulled it out of the cabinet and placed it on the table returning to the fridge to grab something else, and then added the two together. I could smell the sourness of the milk and the wheat from the cereal. It was repulsive. How could she eat something like that? No wonder she was so frail. She froze, â€Å"Can I get you something?† she asked. If she was meaning to offer me some of her food the answer was undeniably, ‘no thanks'! I just rolled my eyes at the thought, â€Å"Just eat Bella.† I commanded. She sat at the table and never moved her gaze from my expressions. I continued to watch myself mirrored in her eyes. I saw how she placed the food in her mouth and watched as her communicative eyes delighted in each bite. She made a light coughing nose, pulling me from my distraction, â€Å"What's on the agenda for today?† she wondered. â€Å"Hmmm†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I thought carefully on how I would tell her about meeting my family. It is still her decision, I reminded myself. â€Å"What would you say to meeting my family?† I framed the answer as a question, giving her options. I heard the loud swallow of her food. Was she anxious? â€Å"Are you afraid now?† I asked, afraid myself, though I formed the question as sounding hopeful so she wouldn't notice my panic that was bringing a light haze to my brain. â€Å"Yes,† she admitted. There was an automatic tightening of my muscles. I wanted to reassure her, â€Å"Don't worry,† I grinned playfully, hoping this would ease her mind. â€Å"I'll protect you,† I added. It was an understatement. No one would ever lay one finger on her. â€Å"I'm not afraid of them,† she explained, â€Å"I'm afraid they won't†¦like me. Won't they be, well, surprised that you would bring someone†¦like me†¦home to meet them? Do they know that I know about them?† She asked nervously. â€Å"Oh, they already know everything. They'd taken bets yesterday, you know† I smiled at her, trying to show her how little stock I put in their games, but she could read the revulsion on my face, â€Å"on whether I'd bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can't imagine. At any rate, we don't have secrets in the family. It's not really feasible, what with my mind reading and Alice seeing the future and all that.† â€Å"And Jasper making you feel all warm and fuzzy about spilling your guts, don't forget that.† â€Å"You paid attention,† I smiled. Of course she paid attention, she was always absorbing more information than I was releasing. â€Å"I've been known to do that every now and then,† she frowned. â€Å"So did Alice see me coming?† she asked. A memory came floating to the forefront of my mind; Bella as a vampire. Suddenly the onslaught of memories of Alice's visions overpowered me. I was temporarily still, â€Å"Something like that,† I murmured. I saw how my face looked in her eyes and turned my head swiftly, unable to hide my expressions of pain, horror and†¦happiness. A distraction, that is what I need right now. â€Å"Is that any good?† I asked. I was actually kind of curious now, â€Å"Honestly, it doesn't look very appetizing.† â€Å"Well, it's no irritable grizzly†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I growled under my breath at her causal talk of our hunting. She ignored me. She continued to eat her food. Sometimes a crease would appear between her eyes and the curiosity would flare inside me. Unknowingly, I began probing her mind. It was something I did naturally, without effort. Once again I reached an invisible barrier that let me no farther than the deepest depths of her eyes. I turned towards the window to hide my facial expressions. Another distraction, that is what I needed, â€Å"And you should introduce me to your father, too, I think.† â€Å"He already knows you,† she exclaimed, horror in her voice. It worked, I was distracted. Did she not want me to meet him†¦ maybe I should explain, â€Å"As your boyfriend, I mean.† She glared at me apprehensively, â€Å"Why?† I was confused, â€Å"Isn't that customary?† I wondered. â€Å"I don't know,† she admitted. She hesitated for a minute before continuing, â€Å"That's not necessary, you know. I don't expect you to†¦I mean, you don't have to pretend for me.† Pretend? She was my life now, didn't she remember our conversation from only a few moments ago. There was nothing about my affections for her that were in any way false. â€Å"I'm not pretending,† I smiled to let her know that this was not a lie. She didn't say anything, the quiet of the room biting at my uneasy thoughts. I watched as she moved her food around her bowl. She bit her lower lip. Would she break the skin? I was worried about her and my words came out sharper then I intended, â€Å"Are you going to tell Charlie I'm your boyfriend or not?† â€Å"Is that what you are?† Wasn't it? Maybe we hadn't declared our status, but I thought it was obvious. I decided that I was her†¦boyfriend, â€Å"It's a loose interpretation of the word ‘boy,' I'll admit.† â€Å"I was under the impression that you were something more, actually,† she admitted while she turned her gaze to the table. A joyous feeling suddenly broke free and through my body. My frozen veins full of venom, of death, were instantly pulsing with a jubilant sensation, reveling in the life and soul of her, of Bella. â€Å"Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details,† I mused. Her gaze had not returned to me, and I took decisive action so I could read her conversational eyes. I lightly brought my finger to her chin, using the lightest of pressure, and brought her gaze to mine, â€Å"But he will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me.† â€Å"Will you be? Will you really be here?† She sounded anxious, worried. â€Å"As long as you want me,† I assured her, quickly. â€Å"I'll always want you. Forever.† She sounded like she was warning me. I walked around the table so I could be closer to her. I paused, leaving a small distance between us. I brought my hand to her face, and gently, I touched her cheek with my finger tips. A red hot desire washed over me as her warmth engulfed me. I had barely touched her, yet I felt her heat flowing up my arm and filling my body with a need, my need for her. â€Å"Does that make you sad?† she asked. I didn't want Bella, I needed her. I needed her like she needs air. Couldn't she tell it wasn't sadness on my face, that is was something else? Bliss, ecstasy, pure joy was radiating off me like a nuclear explosion had imploded inside me, sending waves of happiness to all those who surrounded me. Couldn't she feel it? â€Å"Are you finished?† She hoped up out of her seat, eager, â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"Get dressed ?C I'll wait here.† I commanded. She bounded up the stairs, skipping two at a time. I waited for her at the foot of the stairs. When she was out of sight, my imagination got the better of me. The thought of her exposed body while she tried on clothes sent new desires rippling through me. I immediately reprimanded myself. I had to remember that she was fragile and innocent. I couldn't fathom how I would feel if I were to harm a single hair on her body, or worse, if I were to become so physical with her that my need and my desire became thirst and hunger. I shuddered and pushed the thoughts away. My husband's not going to be home for a while; maybe I should call him†¦ She is so sexy; I wonder what it would feel like to†¦ The pink top or the white top Several thoughts from the surrounding neighborhood intruded on my mind. Human's minds were always unoriginal and sometimes completely disgusting. How they thought of each other as interchangeable made me sick. I heard Bella's door open, â€Å"Okay,† she called while running down the stairs, â€Å"I'm decent.† I watched her as if she were in slow motion. She over stepped and in a fluid movement she ran right into me. I held her to steady her. And to feel her warmth, I added. I have to admit, I could have stopped her before she fell into me, but I didn't want to. She was wearing a skirt and the dark blue blouse she wore when I rescued her in Port Angeles. The way her blouse hugged her body caused a hollow yearning in my stomach and the excess of venom flowed freely in my mouth at her delicious aroma. I brought my lips to her neck, and I resisted. â€Å"Wrong again,† I whispered in her ear, â€Å"You are utterly indecent ?C no one should look so tempting, it's not fair.† She trembled under my breath. â€Å"Tempting how? I can change†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Bella asked, worried. Or was it fear in her voice now? Was she finally coming to her senses? Of course not, that would never happen. â€Å"You as so absurd,† I told her. I brought my lips to her forehead, letting the dry ache have its way with me. â€Å"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?† I brought myself ever closer to her, taking her into my embrace. Gentle, I reminded myself. I slowly stroked my fingertips down her spine. She trembled and her pulse speed up. My wanting; longing was taking a grasp on my senses. I felt the new creature, desire, rejoice as I brought my lips closer to hers. My craving was over powering. I could feel her cheeks warming from the rise of emotions. Passion flowed freely in my veins. I was taking in the air around us. Every particle of air in the room was saturated with Bella's fragrance. The temptation to bring her neck to my teeth was strong. Her hands were on my chest, warming my dead heart. I brought my face closer to hers, bringing our lips inches apart. I took in another generous gulp of her fragrance and brought my lips to hers. I parted her slips slightly as euphoria fell over me and my body was screaming in exultation. I was holding Bella tightly against my chest when suddenly she went limp in my arms. I was alarmed. Did I squeeze her too tight? Had I hurt her? I was panicking. I checked my hold on her, making sure my arms were gentle. I wasn't exerting any more pressure then I had all night when I was holding her. â€Å"Bella?† I whispered in fear. Her eyes fluttered and met mine. She was breathless, â€Å"You†¦made†¦me†¦faint,† she said. I rejoiced at her voice. I couldn't read her eyes, they were unfocused. â€Å"What am I going to do with you?† I groaned in exasperation. â€Å"Yesterday I kiss you, and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!† She was still limp in my arms, but a small laugh came out of her lips, â€Å"That's the problem. You're too good. Far, far too good.† She was still unmoving in my arms. I was holding her up. She looked dizzy, â€Å"Do you feel sick?† â€Å"No ?C that wasn't the same kind of fainting at all. I don't know what happened.† She shook her head, â€Å"I think I forgot to breath.† She hadn't taken a breath, I remembered. What would Esme and Alice think if I brought her over there like this? â€Å"I can't take you anywhere like this.† â€Å"I'm fine,† she insisted, â€Å"Your family is going to think I'm insane anyway, what's the difference?† I suppressed a sigh, deciding another distraction was needed. I looked down at her clothes. â€Å"I'm very partial to that color with your skin,† I told her. The flood of blood to her cheeks made her glow. She was glorious. â€Å"Look, I'm trying really hard not to think about what I'm about to do, so can we go already?† she said impatiently. â€Å"And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?† â€Å"That's right,† she answered quickly†¦and maybe a hint of surprise in her voice. I moved my head back and forth, â€Å"You're incredible.† As my house became visible Bella's eyes widened in surprise. I watched her eyes dart from the trees, the lawn, and finally to the house. â€Å"Wow.† She exclaimed. I smiled, â€Å"You like it?† â€Å"It†¦has a certain charm.† She replied. Bella's here! Alice bellowed from her mind. I ignored her. I reached out and pulled the end of her ponytail lightly. What a human gesture, I mused to myself. I chuckled lightly. I parked her truck and was out of the driver's side door and outside her door opening it before she realized I was gone. She didn't even blink at the fast movement, she expected it. â€Å"Ready?† I asked her. â€Å"Not even a little bit ?C let's go† she attempted a laugh. It sounded more like choking. She was patting her hair, a nervous gesture. â€Å"You look lovely,† I reassured her. I took her hand in mine, leading her up the porch. She was tense. I began caressing her hand with my thumb, trying to soothe her. â€Å"Carlisle, they are on the porch,† Esme called. I opened the door to the house for Bella; she stepped in, still tense. I found it odd that Alice wasn't waiting at the door. I watched as Bella's eyes searched the house, looking for something suspect, I assumed. Her eyes darted from the far wall, which was made of only glass, to the piano and then to the staircase where Esme and Carlisle were waiting for us. They were grinning at her, but didn't approach. She is lovely! Esme thought. Then the scent hit her, I can see her initial appeal, she does smell wonderful†¦don't worry Edward, I'd never hurt her. Esme's thoughts continued. Welcome home, Edward. Carlisle thought. â€Å"Carlisle, Esme, this is Bella.† I introduced them. â€Å"You're very welcome, Bella,† Carlisle stepped closer. She isn't†¦scared is she? Carlisle wondered. I shook my head in a motion that Bella wouldn't have noticed. Each step Carlisle took was slow, careful, and cautious. He raised his hand to shake Bella's. She stepped forward without hesitating and shook his hand, â€Å"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen.† â€Å"Please, call me Carlisle.† â€Å"Carlisle,† Bella grinned. I was relieved that this initial meeting was over with, and I was sure Bella could read my body language. Is she even nervous? Esme wondered, looking in my direction. I shook my head behind Bella. Oh†¦I knew she was meant for you, and so maybe she is meant for our life too, Edward. Esme thought. I banished the idea from my head immediately. I couldn't let myself†¦hope†¦to take her life. Esme stepped forward, feeling elated about this meeting, and reached her hand to shake Bella's also. Bella took her hand like she was meeting a normal human. â€Å"It's very nice to know you,† Esme said sincerely. â€Å"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too.† Bella truly looked happy. During these first meetings with my vampire parents Bella's pulse didn't speed up once. She was brave. Alice was still a no show. I searched for her thoughts and found them. No, that color doesn't look right†¦yes, blue, Edward loves it when Bella wears blue. That's it, this dress will look spectacular on her! â€Å"Where is Alice and Jasper?† I called out to them. They both appeared at the top of the stairs in that second. â€Å"Hey, Edward!† Alice called enthusiastically. This is what I've been waiting for. Alice dived down the stairs and was abruptly in front of Bella. I wanted to shout at her for doing this, but I decided that saying something in front of Bella was not a wise idea. She was taking everything so well, no need to scare her now. I knew Alice wouldn't hurt Bella, she loved her, too. Esme and Carlisle were giving her a reproving look. â€Å"Hi, Bella!† Alice literally bounced forward and kissed her cheek. I saw Esme grab Carlisle by the arm, like she was holding herself back. Oh my! Esme thought. I felt the temptation of Bella's seductive scent through Alice's thoughts. I was immediately tense. Pipe down! She hissed in her head at me. â€Å"You do smell nice, I never noticed before,† Alice mused. Blood began flooding up Bella's face as she blushed a light pink. I was anxious again when I realized the scent had finally reached Jasper. Jasper quickly stopped the flow of air going into his lungs, refusing to take in anymore of her scent. The twin thirsts I felt whenever I was around Jasper were quieted. I felt relieved. He could still taste the curiosity and flavor of Bella from everyone's emotions. I still don't see why you have such a fixation. Jasper thought. He automatically emitted a flood of peace and calm. It swirled around her and she mirrored his emotions back. My eyebrow raised on its own. What was he doing? â€Å"Hello Bella,† Jasper said, using part of his air supply left in his lungs. He kept his distance, heeding my previous warnings. Or, maybe, just maybe, he really was trying to not have the overwhelming need to feed. He was too busy concentrating for there to be any coherent thoughts. â€Å"Hello, Jasper.† Bella smiled at him, a light pink tinge still present on her cheeks. â€Å"It's nice to meet you all ?C you have a very beautiful home.† Bella's eyes searched the room again. She's sweet, too! Esme thought. â€Å"Thank you, we're so glad that you came.† Esme replied. Me too! Alice thought. She is so brave†¦ Esme's thoughts continued. She was quickly becoming absorbed with Bella, too. She was trying desperately to hide her other thoughts from me. I'd heard the thoughts before, but she was probably oblivious about thinking it. She had always thought there was something defective with me. Now, she was jubilant, joyous, that I had finally found someone. Edward, Carlisle called out to me in his mind. His eyes met mine; Alice has seen a coven, three of them, that will be very close to Forks. I didn't want to say anything in front of Bella. I wasn't sure how she would take the news. They know we are here, which means that they might make an appearance. Alice said they were curious. Alice knew we were having a conversation. She was well practiced with our silent ones. She knew what we were communicating about and wanted to tack on any information she felt might be left out, or to just bug me, knowing her it could be either one. I don't think they will be coming close to home, but it is a possibility. I knew that the news of a coven feeding in the area would be important to you considering you love a human. Alice added. And I love her too. I nodded once to acknowledge their thoughts. I would tell Bella though. The word secret had a different meaning to me now, because I knew from now on I would tell her all of them. They would be our secrets. I tried to not listen to my family's thoughts, but they were always as clear as if they were talking directly to me. I watched a vision along with Alice as it played out in her head; I was playing the piano, Bella in awe. The vision shifted and we were talking about the cross in the hall. So far, the day looks uneventful, Alice mused. She was wrong about the day being uneventful. Every brief moment of time was tremendously significant to me, and very much so†¦eventful. And Emmett wanted me to tell you sorry for not being here†¦ Rosalie has become†¦irritated at the fascination Emmett has on humans now. She remembered a conversation about the Ben kid from Spanish class. Of course, I thought. I returned my gaze to Bella. We were so close I could still feel the warmth flowing through my body from hers. I inhaled her scent while my wild desires and new found sensations went through my body. Jasper gave me a look. I knew he could feel everything I was feeling. Esme's thoughts brought me back to the room. She keeps staring at the piano, Esme pondered. â€Å"Do you play?† Esme asked Bella, leaning her head to suggest the piano. Bella shook her head, â€Å"Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?† she wondered. I added this news to the list of things I knew about Bella, which was growing at a massive rate. She doesn't play the piano, but liked the piano†¦she was classy. Why haven't you told her? Esme scolded me. â€Å"No,† Esme laughed, a sign of ease, â€Å"Edward didn't tell you he was musical?† â€Å"No,† Bella glared in my direction, indignation on her face. I formed an innocent expression, anticipating her reaction. â€Å"I should have known, I guess.† she added. I don't understand, Esme lifted her eyebrows at her words. â€Å"Edward can do everything, right?† she explained. Did she really believe that? She was so absurd. What have you been telling her? Whatever it is, I want to know†¦I mean seriously, you have got to be kidding me, Jasper thought and then snickered aloud. Tisk, tisk, Esme criticized. â€Å"I hope you haven't been showing off ?C it's rude,† Esme reprimanded me. â€Å"Just a bit,† I laughed. Please keep her around†¦please please please. I have never seen you so light hearted. Esme thought. Bella distracted me from Esme, â€Å"He's been too modest, actually.† she corrected. â€Å"Well, play for her,† Esme encouraged me. You can play her the song that she inspired, sheadded mentally. â€Å"You just said showing off was rude,† I objected feebly. She smiled, â€Å"There are exceptions to every rule.† I turned my gaze to Bella, â€Å"I'd like to hear you play,† Bella insisted. â€Å"It's settled then,† Esme pushed me to the piano. At the look on Bella's eager face it was inconceivable to think to say no to her. I conceded. I reached for Bella, bringing her into my side and taking her to the piano. I breathed in her heady scent while the electric pulse that always came from our touch surged through my body. He just casually touches her†¦how fantastic. Esme thought. We sat at the bench, her warmth warming my cold skin from the inside out. I turned my gaze to her, gauging her reaction. I didn't know what to play. Her song Edward, her song†¦Esme encouraged. I was still looking at Bella and she could sense the exasperation in my face. I placed my hands on the keys then, and settled on playing Esme's favorite. I was measuring Bella's expression. After a few seconds I watched her face go from peaceful to shocked instantly. Her mouth opened in astonishment. I heard my family members chuckling behind me at Bella's reaction. I was probing their minds to see all the different views of Bella at once. What was she thinking? Was it good or was it bad? â€Å"Do you like it?† I inquired. â€Å"You wrote this?† she inhaled quickly, realization in her eyes. I nodded, â€Å"It's Esme's favorite.† I noted. We are just going to leave you two alone. Esme nodded to the others to leave, she is wonderful†¦ no wonder he is so protective of her. I ignored the crowd leaving the room because I was so absorbed by Bella's every reaction. I watched as she lightly closed her eyes in exasperation and shook her head back and forth. Did I do something? â€Å"What's wrong?† She looked saddened, or upset. â€Å"I'm feeling extremely insignificant.† she explained. I decided to take Esme's advice and play her song. The music slowed, and I began playing the beautiful song that I had composed and changed many times since I had met her until it became the sweetest of notes blending together to make magic. â€Å"You inspired this one,† I whispered, making sure she understood that she was the most significant thing in my world. She was speechless. The silence of her thoughts was just as frustrating as ever. I breathed her in, letting the flames rip down my throat. Desire was constantly raging a war inside me. She was still silent. â€Å"They like you, you know.† I admitted, â€Å"Esme especially.† Her eyes darted over her shoulder and then around the room. â€Å"Where did they go?† â€Å"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose,† though I knew they could hear everything that was going on in the room. Bella sighed and I turned to look at her again. â€Å"They like me. But Rosalie and Emmett†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she trailed off but I understood where her thoughts were going, for once, I added. Of course she would notice that they weren't here. I didn't want to talk about Rosalie. My lips turned down, â€Å"Don't worry about Rosalie, she'll come around.† I lied smoothly, though I hoped one day she would. She looked unconvinced, â€Å"Emmet?† she wondered. â€Å"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie,† I tried to explain. I looked into her wide eyes, trying to read her thoughts. I saw the line between her eyes crease at the complexity of her mind, â€Å"What is it that upsets her?† she finally asked. She looked anxious, waiting for my explanation. I didn't want to tell her something that would possibly upset her. The thought of causing her any type of pain sent an overwhelming feeling of remorse through my body. I took in a deep breath, a sigh really. The burning temptation was still present. I distracted myself, no more secrets, â€Å"Rosalie struggles the most with†¦with what we are. It's hard for her to have someone on the outside know the truth. And she's a little jealous.† I explained, the words coming quickly. Her eyes grew wide during my explanation, â€Å"Rosalie is jealous of me?† â€Å"You're human,† I shrugged. I thought it was obvious why she would be jealous of something as magnificent as her, â€Å"She wishes that she were, too.† I continued to explain after seeing her question my first statement. â€Å"Oh,† she looked upset by this, but shock was still present on her delicate face. Her facial expressions changed to contemplation. I wanted to groan in exasperation from her quiet mind. What was she thinking? Her short pauses were the loudest silence I have ever heard. â€Å"Even Jasper, though†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she left the sentence hanging, realizing I would understand her thoughts. She didn't know how much I didn't comprehend them, though. I sighed. â€Å"That's really my fault,† I explained, â€Å"I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance.† I watched while a shiver ran down her spine. Was she finally scared or was she cold? â€Å"Esme and Carlisle†¦?† she added quickly. â€Å"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential make up, that I was too young when Carlisle change me†¦She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction.† I finished her sentence. â€Å"Alice seems very†¦enthusiastic.† Bella noted. Of course she noticed. â€Å"Alice has her own way of looking at things,† my lips grew tight at the many visions I had seen in her head since I meet Bella. She must have read the hesitation in my voice, â€Å"And you're not going to explain that, are you?† I saw myself mirrored in her eyes, watching as each of our expressions changed in unison. She knew I was keeping Alice's visions from her. There were several good reasons why I was keeping these from her. One, I didn't want to scare her, and two, I didn't want her to get any ideas. No, I would still not confess what I have seen through the eyes of a psychic. â€Å"So what was Carlisle telling you before?† she asked, bringing me from my distraction. She was incredible. She picked up on all the signs that I thought were subtle. Was she really that perceptive or was my fa?ade waning? I could see the wrinkle appear between my brows through the reflection of her deep brown eyes. â€Å"You noticed that, did you?† it wasn't a question, it was a statement. She shrugged, like there was nothing unusual about the whole situation, â€Å"Of course,† she murmured. Better tell her now, I suppose. I monitored her face, I continued to play her song. She seemed complacent enough so I answered, â€Å"He wanted to tell me some news ?C he didn't know if it was something I would share with you.† â€Å"Will you?† she responded quickly, eagerly. â€Å"I have to, because I'm going to be a little†¦over-bearingly protective over the next few days ?C or weeks ?C and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant.† I said. â€Å"What's wrong?† she gasped in horror. Her blood started warming and moving at a quicker pace. The monster inside me clawed at my bones, wanting to embrace the temptation. I took in her fragrance, letting it fill my lungs. I easily over-rode any enticement this caused me. â€Å"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious,† I explained quickly, trying to calm her now rampant pulse. â€Å"Visitors?† she questioned. â€Å"Yes†¦well, they aren't like us, of course ?C in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone.† I watched her face apprehensively. Her body trembled under stress. â€Å"Finally, a rational response!† I exclaimed, â€Å"I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all.† She didn't contest my observation and I was shocked that she would have this reaction to anything dangerous at all. Her blood slowed in her veins bringing her pulse back to its normal speed. She turned her face from mine, her eyes flowing from one end of the house to the other, distracted. I followed her gaze. Was she still looking for something suspect? â€Å"Not what you expected is it?† I asked. â€Å"No,† she admitted, returning her gaze to me briefly before continuing to soak up the rooms setting. â€Å"No coffins, no piled skills in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs†¦what a disappointment this must be for you,† I teased. She remained serious, â€Å"It's so light†¦so open,† she said. â€Å"It's the one place we never have to hide,† I explained to her. I also wanted to admit that she was included in this place†¦ I would never have to hide from her. My fingers were on the piano, automatically playing. The song was finally coming to a close. When it was finished Bella looked at me, â€Å"Thank you,† she murmured. I turned in my seat; bringing my whole attention back to her. There was moisture prominent in her eyes. The tears flowed over her eye lids. The aroma emitting from her tears was something I had never smelt before. She wiped the tears from her eyes. I noticed she had missed one. I brought my hand to her face, trapping a tear on my finger. I studied it. As a vampire, we could not produce tears. This was something entirely new. I brought it nonchalantly to my lips, seeing how it would taste. I was curious. It didn't taste disgusting, but it held no significance for me. She was staring at me with curiosity flaming in her eyes. â€Å"Do you want to see the rest of the house?† I asked, distracting her. â€Å"No coffins?† she verified. â€Å"No coffins,† I promised, a smile forming on my face. We walked up the staircase that led to the upstairs where my room was. I watched her carefully as she made her way to the top. She was lightly caressing the stair rail as she went. I was jealous†¦ I wanted it to be me. When we reached the top of the stairs I pointed out rooms as we walked, â€Å"Rosalie and Emmett's room†¦Carlisle's office†¦Alice's room†¦Ã¢â‚¬  She froze, turning into a statue. Her eyes grew wide. I followed her gaze until I realized she was staring at the wooden cross at the end of the hallway. I remembered Alice's vision. â€Å"You can laugh,† I told her, â€Å"It is sort of ironic.† I took a deep breath, bringing her fragrance into my lungs again. I was used to the dull ache. She brought her hand out to touch the cross, but she did not proceed, â€Å"It must be very old,† she guessed. I shrugged, â€Å"Early sixteen-thirties, more or less.† I mused. She turned to face me, â€Å"Why do you keep this here?† â€Å"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father.† I explained. I knew I was giving more information away then I had ever told a single soul before. â€Å"He collected antiques?† she suggested doubtfully. â€Å"No. He carved it his himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached.† I said. She looked shocked. â€Å"Are you all right?† I asked, worried about her expressions and silence. â€Å"How old is Carlisle?† she wondered, trying to do the mental math in her head. I watched as her eyes looked fully in thought. I could almost see here calculating the numbers mentally. â€Å"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday,† I admitted. She looked at me, questions burning in her eyes. I knew I would answer them all, if she were to ask. I took in another deep breath while I let her scent assault me.

Fences Research Paper Essay

Lives are lead with anxiety over certain issues and with apprehension towards certain events. This play, Fences written by the playwright August Wilson deals with the progression of a family through the struggles of oppression and the inability to obtain the American Dream. The characters in the play develop throughout the story and can be viewed or interpreted in many different ways, but one man remains constant during the play and that is Troy. Due to certain events that transpired as he was growing up, Troy is shaped into a very stubborn yet proud man. To be a man who was black and proud ran the risk of getting destroyed, both physically and mentally. The world of the 1950s and 60s was rapidly changing and grew strange to Troy as he was living in a place that he understood less and less each day. Troy grows bitter through his misconceptions of the world and lives a life devoted to everything other than his family. As a result of racism Troy is unable to acquire his American Dream of becoming a baseball player, which results in his extreme bitterness that negatively impacts his family relationships and makes him deeply aware of his mortality. Troy’s dreams are thwarted due to accounts of racism that occur in his life and he refuses to acknowledge that any racial progress has been made. Although he is constantly told he is too old to play baseball, Troy sees it in different way. To Troy ability has nothing to do with age, he believes the single reason for him not making it in the major leagues is racism. Troy’s longings to become a baseball player are obstructed by oppression and discrimination. Like many black athletes, Troy was not given the same opportunities as white people were, which strengthened his already adamant view toward the idea of one’s skill vs. he color of one’s skin â€Å"I’m talking about if you could play ball then they ought to have let you play. Don’t care what color you were† (Wilson 18). Troy gets frustrated with the blatant racism that keeps him from playing in the Major Leagues. Troy feels as though he was robbed of a professional career in baseball strictly because of his race, the racial barrier constantly overshadows him and his family and has over time made him a bitter man. In an effort to help the reader understand Troy’s feelings toward his failure, Wilson writes as Troy â€Å"Don’t ome telling me I was too old. I Just wasn’t the right color† (Wilson 39). Although not specifically quoted by Troy, he has been worn down due to constant oppression and has been changed into a man whom he did not aspire to be like; his father. Troy’s animosity towards black people not getting equal opportunities as white people affects his ideals as a father and jeopardizes the future of his family. Troy’s story isn’t particularly special in this era, it was very common for racism and oppression to meddle and change peoples lives. Not specific to baseball but in general life, many things were completely segregated as explained by Kim Pereira â€Å"Wilson used the fence and baseball to tell this story. It was not just a story of a life perceived as a failure, but a look into the minds and thoughts of an African American in the 1950’s† (Pereira 47). Very few people before the civil rights movements in the 1960’s were acting out against racism, and many black people accepted this and began to believe that they were in fact, the inferior race. Troy cannot see the clear racial progress that has been made since he played baseball. As life progressed since Troy had faced oppression during his early years, he found it difficult to accept that things had changed. Troy’s racial arrogance is shown as he talks to Cory about baseball players not playing because of where they are from â€Å"â€Å"Got that boy†¦ Puerto Rican boy†¦ Clemente. Don’t even half-play him† â€Å"He gets lots of chances to play†Ã¢â‚¬  (Wilson 59). Troy clearly believes that people are still not given opportunities to play or excel in something because of the color of their skin, but Cory is denying this claim and states that that is not the case anymore and things have moved forward, at least in this instance. The aspect of social change had opportunities to erupt during the 1950s; people were so set on their views, and much like Troy very few were willing to believe that there was change. Howard Shapiro analyzed this issue â€Å"It’s set in the late ‘50s in an American rapidly moving for an upheaval that will bring massive social change – change Troy Maxson either fails to see or cannot understand† (Shapiro) Troy’s reluctance to accept social change puts the future of his family at risk and stops Cory from progressing through life and out of the ghetto. Troy is constantly exposed to racism and attempts to overcome it in everyday life. There are many instances throughout the book of black people, often working very hard to try and get an opportunity to make something of their lives. This opportunity that is searched for is constantly dismissed because of the underlining theme of racism. Troy isn’t one to stand up for himself, but does when he speaks to his boss about inequality in the work area â€Å"I went to Mr. Rad and asked him ‘why? Why you got white men’s driving and the colored man lifting? † (Wilson 19) Troy’s frustration in dealing with racism and inequality everyday reflects his frustrations from being denied a career in baseball. Despite Troy’s efforts to work hard, he along with many others is not given a chance to change the lives of their families. Troy says that he works as hard as possible and receives nothing for it â€Å"I’m working every day and can’t get not credit† (Wilson 15) Troy is overlooked because of the color of their skin, and in being constantly discriminated against Troy’s future is limited. Although there has been some racial progress by the 1950s, there are not any significant breakthroughs until the civil rights movement. Through the voice of Troy, Wilson describes and example of oppression where a â€Å"negro† walks into a restaurant and cannot get served, but when a white man walks in everybody drops what he or she is doing and rushes to the aid of the white man. Wilson references the Pope picking out the meat from the stew for the white man, saying that everybody will get down on his or her hands and knees to cater for that one man. An instance like this occurred very often and is made an example out of. Troy displaces his relationships with Rose and Cory, who end up resenting him because of his ostracizing actions. As a result of being exposed to failure when growing up with his father, Troy seems to have adopted the idea that when things get difficult it is easier to just walk away. In doing so Troy unknowingly affects the lives of those around him. Troy ruins his marriage with Rose due to his never-ending need to escape responsibility. Troy does not have a sense of familial obligation and much like his father puts a lot of effort into getting away from his duties as a father. He wants to get away from the pressures of family life and is driven towards another woman with whom he has an affair, and explains it as â€Å"She gives me a different idea†¦I can step out of this house and get away from the pressures and problems† (Wilson 68). Troy is forever reluctant to accept his responsibilities, he understands that he is a father but all that he associates with this role is providing money, as that is all anybody asks of him. Troy is very hypocritical in saying he is the man of the house, yet acting as far from it as possible. In neglecting his family, Troy destroys his relationships with his wife, and children. As Kim Pereira analyses â€Å"Troy delays building the fence, as though fearful of the restrictions it will place on him. Something within him rebels against the idea of being cut off from the world, having no escape from the pressures of family life† (Pereira 49). It is evident that Troy is fearful of the symbolic meaning of the fence rather than the fence itself. Placing possible restrictions on him, Troy is reluctant to put it up; he feels it might force him to live a life devoted to his family, with no escape. In marrying Troy, Rose took a huge gamble in putting all of her aspirations and dreams aside to live a family life, one devoted to her husband and children. When finding out that her husband has cheated on her Rose’s goals and possible futures were destroyed, she was betrayed by the man she invested in â€Å"I took all my feelings, my wants and needs, my dreams†¦and I buried them inside of you. I planted a seed and waited and prayed over it† (Wilson 45). Troy betrayed the trust of Rose, and not only cheated her but the family as well, any goals they had, are now shattered because of his selfishness. Harold Bloom suggests that once Troy speaks to death following fights with loved ones he destroys his family â€Å"Troy stands alone on stage and speaks directly to death. These meetings follow confrontations, first with Rose and then with Cory, during which Troy manages to kill the love from those he loves the most† (Bloom). After Troy manages to â€Å"kill the love† he accepts death and acknowledges that it will eventually come. Troy shifts all of his attention to one aspect of his life and in doing so neglects and pushes away those who love him. Cory takes umbrage against Troy, as a result of the restrictions that are placed upon him. Due to Troy’s failure in baseball he is diffident to let Cory play football in college. He faced racism in trying to become a professional athlete and fears the same fate for Cory â€Å"The white man ain’t gonna let you get nowhere with that football no way† (Wilson 78). Troy sees his time that he used to pursue a career in baseball was wasted and is now trying to avoid Cory from going through the same thing. In response to his own disappointment, Troy demands Cory to give up on his dream. Troy believes that to be successful you have to work hard and that you earn where you get to, but believes that something interfered on his path to success. Troy thinks that life has never been fair to his family and never helped him out, it is just an obstruction â€Å"Life don’t owe you nothing† (Wilson 83). In his eyes somebody succeeding in life means that they think they are better than others, Troy begins to shows this characteristic when Cory has the opportunity to play college football and possibly make something of his life, as Kim Pereira explains â€Å"This seeming lack of affection is hard on Cory who obviously worships his father. But every attempt to emulate Troy is met with disapproval, and slowly, their lives begin to revolve in concentric circles – beginning at the same center, destined to describe similar patterns† (Pereira 44). Despite Cory wanting a relationship with his father, Troy is hesitant to show any affection toward his own son because of his pride.

A Rose for Emily Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1750 words

A Rose for Emily - Research Paper Example Emily in her course of life lost her father and lover and was living an aloof life. We have sympathy for Emily but cannot really have a deep visual about her life. Anyway, it was obvious from her life that she had spent a tragic life mainly filled with skepticism and tragedy (Thesis). Emily has never lived an independent life. All she had was poverty and the house that her father left before his death. Emily was always under the control of her father and did not find a suitable partner to live with. Her father always wanted to control her and in this struggle she was left all alone after her father’s death. After her father’s death she was not paying tax and she kept herself away from the township. Later she met Homer and fell in love with him, but killed him with arsenic and continued to keep his rotten body with her. Describing the poverty of Emily The poverty of Emily is described here with the criticism from various authors and each one is as follows. 1) Father†™s hidden body From my analysis of the short story â€Å"A Rose for Emily†, we may gauge the character of her as a psychopath. She is definitely a case of mentally unstable woman, and people did not have much connection with her, hence none could acknowledge her disorder. This is the understanding of mine and this thought of mine is similar to that of the criticism of Cleanth Brooks and Robert Penn Warren. Both of these authors conducted an evaluation of the story of Faulkner and claimed that Emily is a pathological case. A normal person would not hide the body of another person from the public sight. The stench coming from home could be that of her father’s hidden dead body. She loved her father as they shared a nice and warm relationship with each other and she was barely able to accept her father’s death. She loved him because he provided for her life and comforted her and also handed over the house to her. However, both authors feel that the story lacks ju stification and meaning as Faulkner was only keen on narrating the psychopath nature of Emily. It is a fact what authors have said because even I feel that the story looks incomplete in some way. According to Brooks and Warren, â€Å"Miss Emily is obviously a pathological case. The narrator indicates plainly enough that people felt that she was crazy.† Emily here does not have an identity or characterization since the author intends mainly to portray her as a victim of the dominating world of men. 2) Homosexual Homer Emily loved Homer and her character evoked piety and sympathy from her contemporaries. Emily killed Homer just after one year of their alleged love relationship. She sleeps with the dead body of Homer, which is rotting in the bed in a room upstairs. Here we can perceive the state of Emily as abnormal, where she is mentally disordered and shows signs of a pathological condition. Here we can understand that Emily killed Homer because he was a homosexual. She believ ed that Homer was still alive and for that reason she hugs his decayed body and sleeps. She killed Homer because she could not accept the fact that he was homosexual. According to critic Ray West, Homer was an unheroic figure and Emily had a resisting quality which can be mentioned as â€Å"heroic.† According to West< â€Å"Her tragic flaw is the conventional pride: she undertook to regulate the natural time-universe.† Emily never wanted the time to move on as she wished to cuddle up with the body of her dead lover. The Barron Homer and Emily did have an affair

History of Transportation in New Jersey Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

History of Transportation in New Jersey - Essay Example From 1860, gradually the canal grew even more to permit 70 tons of boats to pass by. However, traffic reached to the climax in 1866 when the canal conceded about 889,220 tons of cargo. The canal was leased in 1871 by the Lehigh Valley Railroad, mainly to give the railroad the use of the expensive mortal properties which was located in Phillipsburg. In 1871, the canal started to turn down. It finally got abandoned in 1924 when the state of New Jersey took control. In the mid of 1924 to 1929, a large part of the canal was dismantled. (New Jersey's Great Northwest Skylands, 2008). Railroads that played a major role in the transportation history include the New York Central Railroad and the Pennsylvania Railroad. The agreement of New York Central Railroad took place at March 14, 1836. It is one of the first railroads in United States. New York Central Railroad was known as the New York Central in its exposure. It was a railroad which was operated in the Northeastern United States. It served a huge part of Northeast which included widespread tracking path in various states of New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois and many more. It was mainly connected with Chicago and Boston. The Grand Central Terminal of New York Railroad is also known to be one of the best existing landmarks. However, in 1986, it combined with its previous rival, namely the Pennsylvania Railroad to shape the Penn Central. But unfortunately, the company got bankrupted and was taken over by the federal government and got united with the Conrail. The first four track and long distance railroad in the world were from New York Central namely Water Level Route. (Encyclopedia, 2004). On the other hand, the Pennsylvania Railroad was founded in 1846 and was an American railroad. It was leading railroad by traffic and profits in United States, all the way through the 20th century. At one time it was the biggest publicly business corporation in the world. It controlled about 10,000 miles of rail line. The Pennsylvania Railroad or PPR was united with at least about 800 rail lines and various companies. It still embraces a record for the greatest incessant dividend in the history as it paid out yearly dividends to the shareholder continuously for more than hundred years. The Pennsylvania Railroad constructed various grand passenger stations in different major cities, including Broad Street Station, Union Station, Penn Station, Penn Station which was built in Newark, 30th Street Station and Union Station. It served for the PPR's wide ranging passenger service. (Pe nnsylvania Railways). However, people like Cornelius Vanderbilt and Andrew Carnegie are among those people who have supported the construction of early transportation. If we compare both of them, Cornelius Vanderbilt was a thriving man due to his reputation of being a reliable boatman and secondly for charging fares lower than his rivals. He is also known as the transportation tycoon. In 1812, Vanderbilt got a label of Commodore because he was in command of the leading boat on the Hudson River. He sent steamboats where shipping was started and started to work on the ferry route flanked by New Brunswick and New York City. In 1840's, Cornelius Vanderbilt had about 100 of steamboats and employed people more than any other industry in United States. When he was in his 70's, he saw that the future is in the railroads, so

Final exam Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Final exam - Assignment Example However, people are constrained to following this judgment of their conscience. In this case, there are things that depend on people’s conscience such as respecting others. On the other hand, sinning against other people is considered a way of wounding their conscience. Catholic Traditions teaches ways of protect from error such as ensuring that one is not get involved in things that would make another person fails. Apparently, teachings of Catholic traditions are based on goodness, fruits of spirit; though, this focuses on the contradictory side of evil. Moreover, these teachings propose two states of being, which include being submissive to God and goodness, and refraining from being involved with evil things. These teachings propose that people can only be involved with either God of the devil, and the conscience is considered erroneous through involvement with the latter. Knowledge gathered from Catholic traditional teachings is meant to establish a distinction between God and evil. Conscience is erroneous through evil, which is considered a way of utilizing power for destroying spiritual development of other people; besides, this serves as a way of defending and maintaining deluding integrity. In this case, people establish a dominion over their victims, where they scapegoat the weak, thereby using evil to misuse power. On the other hand, the Bible in Proverbs 4:19 indicates that evil is â€Å"willful ignorance, refusing instructions, walking in darkness, attributes of denial and self-satisfaction.† Therefore, teaching authority of the Catholic Church plays a significant role by assisting people to distinguish between good and evil; in fact through this way they are able to abide to the ethical command of â€Å"doing good and avoiding evil†. According to teaching authority of Catholic Church, there is need for everyone to try to do well; in fact, this is achieved through determination based on true purpose. For instance, people should have intentions to assist other people, but actions such as stealing, lying, and coveting are wrong. In addition, the Aquinas asserted that God created human beings for a particular purpose, which is identified through reasons. Christians acts are based on the reasons based identified as a purpose of living. However, people are expected to recognize evil and this enables them to choose good and do good things. Nevertheless, there is need to recognize that evil lives among people and it is available to them. There is a chance for an conscious error to occur in situations where one is unconsciously involved into a trend of evil perception. Sense of sinfulness objects people from experiencing from of deterioration; though God wants to have a community, whereby people assist each other. Knowledge regarding good and evils offers a way protecting people from conscience errors; thus, people can dwell in righteousness. Therefore, the ethical command of doing good and avoiding evil is associ ated with people’s judgment of conscience, which can be influenced by the teaching authority of Catholic Church. Section Two 2. Apply the principle of Just War to a particular conflict involving the United States. (Ex. World War II, Korea, Iraq, Vietnam etc.) Make sure to answer whether the criteria of just war are met and justify your position. The principle of just war was not

Strategic Analysis of Netflix Term Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1750 words

Strategic Analysis of Netflix - Term Paper Example Growth opportunity for Netflix is dependent on Subscriber Acquisition Costs (SAC), churn rate and Average Revenue Per User (ARPU). Lack of switching cost has decreased ability of Netflix to control above mentioned three verticals. Opportunity Threat Netflix has already entered into digital distribution of video content in order to create a bridge between physical DVD formats and digital streaming. Netflix has already established strategic partnership with Microsoft in order to launch â€Å"Netflix compatible Xbox†; such product diversification strategy will definitely open new revenue earning paths for the company. Many customers prefer to watch movies on premium movie channels such as HBO, Showtime, Starz and Cinemax instead of renting movie from Netflix. HBO has launched HBO Go which is a video streaming service in order to increase competitive threat for Netflix (Thompson, â€Å"Netflix's Business Model and Strategy in Renting Movies and TV Episodes†). Porter 5 Force Analysis According to Michael Porter (1980, 1985) five force frameworks is a useful tool to understand competitive advantage associated with a particular industry. The study will use five force frameworks in order to understand competitive scenario for Netflix. Threat of New Entrant Attractiveness of the DVD renting industry has decreased for new entrants due to involvement of high cost related to acquisition of distribution rights from studios such as Time Warner, Sony Pictures and Universal Pictures. However, capital cost regarding setting up â€Å"brick and mortar† shop has decreased due to increase in online distribution of DVDs. Exit cost for the industry is dependent on capital investment done for establishing brick and mortar shop; for example, exit cost for an...It is evident from the SWOT analysis, that the company focuses on maintaining consistency in its offered service by using various techniques like customization in terms of DVD selection, decreasing lead time for service quality, offering Blue-ray or high definition DVD to customers, offering wide variety of latest movies and TV episodes to customers etc. It is evident from the above analysis that Netflix needs to think beyond video rental industry in order to expand its business. In long term, Netflix needs to focus on implementing a fully digital streaming of content in order to tap the potential market for online streaming. The company has already invested capital in developing digital streaming facility, hence the next move for the company will be to increase the number of digital titles and generate awareness among customers about digital streaming facilities developed by Netflix.

The Meaning of Integrity Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

The Meaning of Integrity - Essay Example In some cases, integrity has been used to refer to the work of art, a defense system, or a computerized database. When used on objects, integrity refers to the purity, intactness, and wholeness of a thing. Many different facets of integrity help people understand its different meaning. Various aspects and facets of a person’s life are attributed to integrity. In most cases, people speak of attributes such as artistic, intellectual, and professional integrity. Although the term has different facets that explore on its meaning, the most philosophical aspect of it is that it relates to the general character. Specifically, philosophers have attempted to understand what it is for an individual to demonstrate integrity throughout life. Many have tried to answer the question of what it is to be a person of integrity. In summary, the philosophers’ discourse about integrity revolves around two fundamental elements. The first element is the formal relation that an individual has to oneself and secondly, the aspect of acting morally, no matter what the environment is. A person of integrity is one that does what is right despite the pressures or challenges he finds himself into. Such an individual is not moved by emotions, but by a strong character that stands for moral purpose. One of the integration outlooks of integrity is the act of keeping self uncorrupted and self-intact. It is important to note that an individual is subject to many conflicting desires. If an individual acts towards the conflict desires, then he or she acts without integrity. Integrity requires one to destroy the sinful nature that is to fulfill human desires such as greed, corruption, and immorality just to name a few. Integrity requires one to make a sober decision between doing what is right and what is wrong. For example, one may endorse the desire to outlay and study, a desire to party or go to church, and a desire to be unfaithful or faithful. The decisions that human beings make depend so much on integrity that one possesses. A person of integrity is one that is not determined by the environment he is in, but chooses to do what is right in spite of the cost or challenge. Fully integrated people do not fall into victims of immorality, corruption, or greed. Rather, they try to do the best they can to live an appealing life. A person of integrity bases judgment on positive desires and commitments. Personal integrity demands one to stand for something. This explains why an individual chooses to do the right thing regardless of being in the midst of something or an environment that would push one to make the wrong choice. As philosophers view it, integrity is having regard on one’s role and respect over what is worth and valuable doing. It means doing the right thing at all circumstances and times regardless of whether someone is watching or not. It takes the courage for an individual to do the right thing at the right time, independently on the consequen ces. For years, many people have believed that it takes years to build integrity, but it only takes seconds to ruin and lose it. With this, it is important for one to safeguard his personal life to preserve integrity, which is costly to have. Every individual should strive to attain the reputation of integrity. At all cost, one should avoid people that ruin one’s reputation. A person should be conscious of his or her action as there are consequences that follow. Success may come and go, but integrity remains forever. Thus, as people work hard to be successful in life, they should also strive hard to attain integrity that helps one to achieve his intended goals. In workplace, integrity is a word that reflects on an employee’

MAP Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

MAP - Essay Example In order to better the performance of students who are perhaps still in grade 2 or grade 5, various modern assessments kits have been developed to help students, parents and teachers monitor the progress of the children so that the final objectives of learning are realized through a computerized adaptive test device. Various methods of assessments which have been formulated recently to facilitate learning include MAP test method which is an acronym of the term Measure of Academic Progress. MAP was introduced to students around 2005 in order to help teachers, children and school administrators find the best methods possible to help improve learning and the performance of students. MAP works under the principle that the more grades or marks a student scores, the more the difficult his or her tests are likely to be in future. The computer which is used for the assessment and storage of results of students is thus programmed in a way that it stores all the information of students includi ng their progress in the continuous assessment tests done (DeLong 60). The Measure of Academic Progress depends on various tests administered to students during specified sessions, most preferably during the first few weeks in school. The MAP sessions cover various areas studied in schools and the probability of each student answering questions correctly determines how difficult the progressive questions will be. That is to say, when a child answers questions correctly in one test it means that the next test has to be difficult. That is when it would be possible to determine the academic progress of the child. Likewise, children who have difficulties answering questions are always given simpler questions in the next tests in order to determine if they grasped the content which was taught earlier on. This method is an effective tool for assessing students’ capabilities because of the fact that it focuses on a student’s strengths and weaknesses rather than a whole class. It therefore helps teachers in knowing the ability of each student since each student has the opportunity to do unique tests. Measure of Academic Progress of students is also important because the progressive test helps determine the intelligent quotient of children. Through this, teachers are able to identify children who are gifted and talented. It is equally vital to students because they are able to gauge their potential (Frederiksen, Mislevy and Bejar 382). Theoretically, it is right for curricular designers to employ this technology in assessing the progress of children in schools since it cannot be assumed that every child is intellectually prepared to move to the next grade. However, the MAP method has limitations. For example, it can demoralize students who might feel looked down upon given the fact that the more a student fails in an assessment test the simpler the subsequent tests become. Some students therefore are bound to take the whole test as a specimen for ridiculi ng them because they are tested on simpler things as compared to children who are brighter and are given more difficult work (Skipi 74). On the contrary, even though the application of the MAP in schools set up has bottlenecks, it is not just important to center on the limitations without considering its advantages as a primary tool for doing assessment.. Its function

E-Business Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 4750 words

E-Business - Research Paper Example In the competitive world of business, the existing business organisations are trying to achieve a sustainable competitive advantage that strives to ensure a sustainable growth for the organisation. The prevailing scenario of the business world is the outcome of multiple factors where globalisation plays a very crucial role. Globalisation has itself offered better opportunities for trade and commerce as it has helped to enhance international trade. Moreover, the technological advancement is another key factor that has contributed significantly towards the growth prospect. The world economies have experienced a massive development in the fields of information & communication technology, transportation, infrastructure, research & development etc. All these improvements have changed the entire social and economic arena and now the entire business world is successfully incorporating and utilising these technical improvements to gain a better and sustainable competitive advantage over the prevailing highly competitive business world. In this regard, e-business and e-commerce are two most crucial technological developments that have revolutionised the entire business world. The present day businesses have recognised the potential for e-business and e-commerce and most of them have already identified and incorporated e-business and e-commerce as an integral part of their strategic management.

Through the Eyes of the Blind in Cathedral by Raymond Carver Essay Example for Free

Through the Eyes of the Blind in Cathedral by Raymond Carver Essay Through the Eyes of the Blind in Cathedral by Raymond Carver You can never seem to know whats going on in another ones life, unless you put your feet in there shoes, so to judge, is simply ignorance. Raymond Carvers Cathedral is a story about how the narrator is uncomfortable with having his wifes blind friend, Robert, over. Roger has lost his wife, and to cope with her death, he planned to visit the narrators wife. Without any knowledge whatsoever on how to act in accompany towards a blind man, the narrator seems to get a glimpse of what it is to truly fit into the blind mans shoe. The narrator starts his story very unenthusiastic about Rogers visit. He based his ideas mainly from movies he remembered watching, In the movies, the blind [moves] slowly and never [laughs]. Sometimes they [are] led by seeing-eye dogs. (209). With these ideas, it made it clear on how unaware he was towards blind people. It seemed as though he believed that blind people didnt have much to do with their lives. He felt sorry for Robert, and basically pitied Roberts wife. The Narrator comments, Imagine a woman who could never see herself as she was seen in the eyes of her loved one. A woman who could go on day after day and never receive the smallest compliment from her beloved. A woman whose husband could never read the expression on her face, be it misery or something better. (213). These were such shallow words to say to someone you have never even met yet, face to face. How can he forget that these were two people who fell in love with each other for who they are, for better or for worse. Beauty is only skin deep. The narrator then anxiously awaits the arrival of Robert as he sips back his drink and watches television. They meet on a high note as the narrators wife introduces the both of them to each other. As they find there selves having small talk, the narrators wife seems to find herself being e mbarrassed as the narrator asks Robert, Which side of the train did you sit on, by the way? The wife then angrily responded What a question, which side! Whats it matter which side as if she werent sure that her husband was mature enough to handle company who supposedly is blind (215). As the night fled by Robert and the narrators wife caught up on old times. Time passed and the narrators wife had left the room, getting ready for bed. The narrator seemed to feel uncomfortable as he was left alone with Robert. He then offered another drink, and also offered to smoke some dope, and Robert accepted the offer. I guess this was the narrators way to lighten up the air, for the narrator to sort of loosen up. His wife comes back, and they all participate in having a little smoke session. The narrators wife ends up falling asleep and Robert suggests staying up late with the narrator. With the television on, the narrator chitchats with Robert. Theyre showing the outside of this cathedral now, as he explains to Robert what cant be heard on television (223). As the television was airing this cathedral, the narrator wondered whether Robert actually knew what a cathedral really is. The narrator asks him and finds out that he only knows what he has just been informed through the television. Robert tries desperately to describe what a cathedral really is, To begin with, theyre very tall, he says, and then continuing on with as though his life was dependent on this (224). It seems as though the narrator wanted to give Robert a vision, he wanted to put Robert in his shoes for a change. The narrator then seemed to realize how bad he was doing, Im not doing so good, am I? he tells Robert as if to see whether or not he really wasnt doing too good of a job or what (225). Robert urges him on, and he continued with which seemed to be a great amount of effort. Robert then suggests a different approach. He gets the narrator to draw the cathedral on a construction paper like shopping bag. Robert follows through the motions of the narrator and seemingly tries to make out the cathedral. The narrator gets all into it and tries hard to draw a picture that will give at least a hint of what a cathedral is like. The narrator finishes up the drawing and Robert suggests that the narrator closes his eyes and continue to draw. The narrator agrees as if to try to see if he could be able to still draw the cathedral with his eyes shut. I think you got it, take a look. What do you think? Robert asked (228). But the narrator decided not to open his eyes, for I believe he has just seen how remarkable it is to be blind. In conclusion I believe the narrator went through a life learning experience. He was afraid of the unfamiliar. He judged another being that he had never even met. He then got to be familiar with the unfamiliar. He then made a friend. I believe this story took the reader through the narrators eyes, the eyes of the blind.

Application Of Industrial Organizational Psychology

Application Of Industrial Organizational Psychology Application of Industrial/Organizational Psychology Two types of psychological schools include ones that are cogent, and others that are applied. Industrial psychology is an applied field of study. The basic premise of industrial psychology is the utilization of certain methodologies and other hypotheses to prevail over the problems in other areas of study, such as in businesses, corporations, and many more (Marks Murray et al., 2005). Different researchers have different meanings applied to the concept. For example, Blum and Naylor (1968) define it as simply the application or extension of psychological facts and principles to the problems concerning human beings operating within the context of business and industry (Milton et al., 1968., p. 4). Industrial psychology helps explicate which theories or types of motivation there are, as well as why certain categories of motivation are chosen. MY NEWLY-ACQUIRED UNDERSTANDING, APPLICABILITY OF THAT KNOWLEDGE, AND RESPECT FOR INDUSTRIAL/ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY Job Performance the Differing Types First, industrial psychology is nothing more than applying psychology to organizations and the workplace. In order to complete this successfully, one must scrutinize and look into how actions and mentalities can be more efficient via genuine processes of hiring, better curriculum in the training, and improved facets of inquiry (Building Better Organizations). I believe job performance amongst others I will discuss is one of the key aspects to an organizations success or failure. Performance is done at all levels, from the entry-level workers up to the top executive officers. How well one does his or her job (job performance) could either wreak havoc or produce effective results for a company. Job implementation and its accomplishments by workers performances is a very critical facet that can relate to organizational actualizations and even positive outcomes. Campbell (1990) devised one of the more accepted performance theories. Performance is something an individual actualizes. Second, we have adequacy. It is another facet alike which is explicated as the crux of a precise malleable phenomenon of performance, efficiency, and productivity. Industrial drive serves a bold part in achievements and success in those achievements. The key point is that performance in terms of ones job has to be germane to the desired goal. Thus, attainment is mutually exclusive to activities where intentions are dissipated in accomplishing incidental goals and desires. The last portion of job performance I will focus on is multidimensionality. Job performance is not a sole unipolar construct. Lots of employment opportunities, where each individual accomplishment standards are required. Thus, actualization in terms of ones job is conceived as a dimension with lots of variables. This facet is made up of more than a single type of behavior (Campbell, 1990). Work Motivation: One of the Key Factors in Organizational Success and Expansion There is no doubt that motivation is one of the most potent weapons in an employees arsenal. Motivation is what drives one to work harder, smarter, or just do the bare minimum. Reasons for one being motivated to do something is through obtaining a desired reward, such as food, money, materialistic things, goals, etc. However, Geen (1994) has noted that motivation for an action by a person may also be because of less-obvious explications, such as altruism or ethics. Furthermore, Geen (1994) postulates that motivation points out to the start, direction, thrust, and perpetuation of the behavior of people in any setting. Types of Motivation: General Specific Many types of motivation exist in the workplace and in every other organization one may be helping and working for. Three general types of motivations are physiological, cognitive, and social motivation. Physiological motivation is explained by a drive to eat, have sex, sleep, etc. Cognitive motivation is more about achievements and aspirations. Social motivations, mostly uncommon or rare, have to do with affiliation motivations. There are also two types of motivation that are termed intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, which are integral to understanding the full-fledged plethora of knowledge regarding how motivation plays a key role in organizations. But, there are specific types of motivation that underlie these general modes of motivation that need to be addressed. The first specific type of motivation that I will discuss is the achievement motivation. Accomplishment motivation is the will to obtain and reach a certain goal or goals (Shah Shah, 2010). One with the ambition to succeed desires aspirations ultimately reach achievement. There is also motivation by affiliation. Motivation by amalgamation is an inner drive to come to life with people in terms of a gregarious basis. These types of motivators are often given compliments for their outstanding working mentalities and the ability to work with others well. Competence motivation is a type of motivation which is generally looked that the persons ambition to do something well, paving way for the person to perpetrate in high valued work. Motivation in terms of power is one of the more popular types and has often been abused and misused (Abuse Facts, 2009). Indeed, Abraham Lincoln once said, Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a mans character, give him power. Receiving power will release everything you need to know about a person. Is he or she using the power for the better of customers and employees? Is he or she using it arbitrarily in improper ways? The good thing about the motivation for power is that you can use the achievement motivation technique to reach a powerful position and lead your co-workers in a benevolent manner. That is what I had to do when I reached the power of a supervisor in the Marine Corps. But I used the power to be able to look out for the welfare of my troops and to order troops to do humane and logical things. I never abused it. The fifth motivation type that is common and involves a lot of psychological methodologies is the attitude motivation. It is how individuals contemplate and feel emotionally. We are talking about ones self-image of ones self. The sixth motivation type is extremely common and perhaps the most common, which is the incentive motivation. Such persons do things-like high quality work-in order to obtain an award. It is much like B.F. Skinners operant conditioning. Car salesmen work on this type of motivation because the more cars they sell, they are not only put in different positions with higher responsibilities, but they get more money because of it. Money is a big incentive award that almost everyone strives for. People need to pay bills, get food, and pay their mortgages to live under a roof. Hence, money, whether implicitly or explicitly, is a reward that every working person strives for. The only question is to what degree they strive for achievement to make money. Last, we have the motivation of fear. Abhorrence motivation forces an individual to behave against his or her will. Why is it so important? The job at hand gets done quicker and pleases the superiors, although the work may be far from adequate. Two types of instinctual drives for motivation include intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is when people are enticed to participate in some bustle in the absence of any genuine transcendent motives, just like a hobby. Motivation that is the opposite of intrinsic is called extrinsic motivation. This occurs when an individual perpetrates in a bustle for a reward that materialistic and proves gains in the amount of lots of money. One last thing to note is that there are pluralities of roles at play which can alter the aftermath of motivation. For example, ones aptitude, commitment, intentions, persistence, fear of success, pre-ordained behavior, temptation, and being hungry all affect motivation. Theories of Motivation: Drive-Reduction, Achievement-Motivation, Interests Driven by Instinct, Hierarchy of Human Needs, Self-Control, the Goal-Setting Theory Since motivation is so diverse, yet integral to organizational psychology, numerous and diverse theories of motivation have been presented to explicate the suspicions of each and why one better explains workplace issues than the others. First, there is the drive-reduction theory. According to this hypothesis, as time goes on, the potency of the drive thrives as it is not met with satisfaction. Thus, when we finally do satisfy that drive by giving it what it wants, the drives potency is reduced. McClelland devised a theory where people need three basic things. Such things include the desire for arbitrary power, desire to actualize, and one of affiliation. A rather popular and generally obvious motivational theory has to do with people doing what interests them. If an individual has a potent likeness in one area, then coming to conclusive actualizations in that facet will be extremely strong, holding support relative to deriving conclusions in facets of fragile importance. An extremely lethal and well-documented motivational hypothesis was concocted by Maslow (1943) in what he calls the hierarchy of human needs. His so-called needs include security, civil, confidence, and the actualization of ones self. Next, there is the self-control theory of motivation. Psychological intelligence plays a key role in the self-control of motivation. An individual may be a genius academically, but may have no motivation or drive to implement and thrive on his abilities to certain jobs. Additionally, antecedents can be explicated like a frailty or desire that stimulates ones behavior, which can be directed towards a motive or an incentive. Such aforementioned drives are commonly known to derive from inside the person and do not dictate any outside influences to entice the behavior. Basic desires and needs potentially could be caused by one being hungry, which drives a person to eat. The goal-setting theory is quite interesting and has a powerful effect to it. This goal-setting theory is much like positive reinforcement. MY LIFE EXPERIENCE WITH APPLIED INDUSTRIAL/ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY Choosing the Right and Efficient Type of Leadership According to Locke and Latham (1991), leadership is organizing a group of people to achieve a common goal. (p. 131) Promulgating perceptions, hypostasizing connotations and the surrounding concocted ambience can be actualized (Richards Engle, 1986, p. 206). While serving in the Marine Corps, you start out as a robotic-responsive individual. As one works their way up by implementing their choice of leadership skills, one notices that the responsibilities get phenomenal. My experience led me to lead as an environmental leader, which is quite unique because you are not selfishly in control of everyone with any questions asked. Carmazzi (2005) argues that the ambiance who maintains a leader is the individual who holds favor to a certain group or other type of environment to dictate the ardent and psychological conception of a persons rank in that specific community. Unlike the other many leadership types, I was drawn to be an environment leader because I could utilize culture to motivate my troops and people, as well as preparing them to become leaders in all areas. But this style of leadership is dependent on creating an educational phenomenon, in which communities could learn interactively the basic psychology of group dynamics from one another within the culture. But this leader must also have a strong knowledge base with psychology. This type of leader must understand psychology, certain languages, in order to sway into the path which citizens of the community were inspired by to do what is expected for the good of the whole. An environment leader believes in leadership through cooperation, not sole arbitrary power. While serving in the military, I realized how important technology and social networking were to meeting peoples individual emotional needs outside of the workplace. But this did not mean that it negatively or positively affected the way they would become leaders or followers. In order to keep up with this transfer of knowledge, technology, and other information, I had to adapt as an environmental leader. As I progressed and took initiative on how to effectively lead in variable environments, I realized that each person has various environments that derive different aspects from their own sole, and each of these aspects is motivated by charging emotional perceptions within each environment. Not only did I have to create an algorithm through schooling and cognizance where people filled each others emotional desires and become more aware of when, and how they can alter personal and collective emotional excellence. Being an environmental leader, I accomplished this by knowing why people respond to their environment instead of acting intelligently. Being an environmental leader is nothing regarding altering the mentality of the group or individuals under you, but in the cultivation of your surrounding that brings out the prime results and inspires the people in that community. Negate the capability to sway others to do things they are not committed to, but rather to discipline a culture that thrives on the drive and even excites people to perform what is mandated for the benefit of all. Its all about success through cooperation, not by an arbitrary leader who dictates everything including making decisions on behalf of everyone. CONCLUSION Motivation has a lot of power in and of itself. Deciding which particular type or theory-or plurality of types and theoriesof motivation is a hard choice, but if you scrutinize enough, you can be an effective leader in an ethical way. Leadership is not just something that someone is born with. Relative to the aforementioned theories, types, and sub-types of motivations, one can effectively learn to use those types in order to be a good leader. I was never born a leader. I was always a follower. That is, until I joined the U.S. Marine Corps. But leading does not just entail an individual that leads. It is much more. It can be a plurality of employees or people that work together to lead for the benefit of all underneath them. Industrial psychology helps explicate which theories or types of motivation there are, as well as why certain categories of motivation are chosen by employees in the workplace.